I’m not into being a Mob Wife. Or rather, I’m into acting like one, but I don’t want to look like one. I can’t get the aesthetic right. It just makes me look older.
Wednesday night I went out for drinks with Emily and Deanna, and it was a lot of work. Starting with my hair, the only way I could make it big enough was by adding clip-in extensions and bangs. I thought I wanted bangs, which is why I got the clip-ins in the first place, but after a few hours of wearing them, I don’t want bangs anymore. They were hot, I was hot. Plus I was wearing heavy jewelry, a fur coat, heels, Spanx, and a jumpsuit. I didn’t even do my nails and I was exhausted before I even left.
I’m a sneakers and loafers kind of girl. I wear dainty jewelry and carry a fanny pack. I rarely even blow dry my hair anymore, let alone curl it. I liked the simplicity of dressing like a Parisian during Oui Oui Week because it was a cleaned-up version of how I already dress. Mob Wife is the opposite. Now I know why Carmela Soprano was unhappy all the time. All that work and Tony still cheated on her.
Maybe there’s a mix of the two that I just haven’t nailed yet. To go back to Kelly Rutherford’s Instagram again, she seems to have it right:
She’s wearing a simple t-shirt, jeans and sneakers, with minimal hair and makeup — and then she just put a fur coat on at the end. Maybe this is how we do it.
Anyway, let’s move on to why you’re all really here: THE HAMMER UPDATE.
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