And That's Why I Hate You

17 years later, I still rage on.

It’s funny how some things stick with you. I wrote the blog post below 17 years ago in response to an email I received from someone named Sheila Mulligan who called me fake for saying I’d be friends with people who read my blog. What’s stuck with me about it, however, isn’t Sheila Mulligan at all. It’s who I mention being mad at in the last line, the cable repair man.

Right before I wrote this, a cable repair man came to my apartment in Brooklyn to fix the cable and I still think about him TO THIS DAY. You’re going to think I’m ridiculous when I tell you why, but I don’t care. Because when this man pulled back the media console, he uttered four words that sent me reeling. He said, “You sure like cords.”

You sure like cords.

YOU SURE LIKE CORDS.

Right, cords are only back there because I like them, not because they power and connect the TV, surround sound and cable box. You know, THE VERY THING YOU’RE HERE TRYING TO FIX.

I think what made me so mad is that he was insinuating my set-up was a mess — which it wasn’t. I’m a very organized person and I had the necessary amount of cords required to make everything turn on and work together. I didn’t just throw a bunch of cords back there for fun.

Anyway, there you have it. So enjoy me laying into Sheila Mulligan, but know that my disdain for her is nothing compared to how I feel the cable repair man, 17 years later and counting.

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And That's Why I Hate You, Sheila Mulligan — October 2, 2006

Normally I'm a pretty happy person who tries to find the good in everyone. However, sometimes I get really angry and just need to let loose. Up to this point in my life, I've hidden my anger for the most part, maybe vented to a few friends about this or that, but I've reached a point where I can't keep it in any longer. Sometimes we all need an, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!" moment. This is my moment.

With this, I'd like to introduce something new here at Pretty in the City called…

"And That's Why I Hate You, xxx"

Before I continue, I should say that I hate people who hate. I've always thought that if you don't like someone, you should ignore them, or keep it to yourself. So much energy goes into hating—why not put that energy to something useful? Something productive.

Because sometimes hating feels good, that's why.

A certain amount of satisfaction comes along with telling someone to “f*ck off” or “go to hell”—don't you agree? Sometimes hating and expressing hate spells relief better than the best indigestion tab on the market.

I realize that word "hate" is harsh, but it’s more satisfying than "dislike." "Hate" is short, to the point, and it leaves no question as to how I really feel about you. If I hate you, I hate you. End of story.

With that, on to my first entry.

So I had a birthday. I turned 29. Again. And I got all sorts of nice birthday wishes on my MySpace page and on this blog. To show my appreciation, I wrote a long post that thanked everybody individually. The thing is, I get a lot of emails and well wishes, and I don't have time to respond to them all. I wanted to show the people who sent me well wishes that I'm thankful for them taking the time out of their busy days to do so.

Just so you know, it took me about three hours to write the post. I'm late handing in two projects that I'm working on too, yet I still took the time to write it. I wrote something short yet heartfelt about each person, and then I wrote this at the end:

Okay, so time to get sappy. Every time I'm sad or get down, I look at my blog or MySpace page, read some comments and realize how lucky I am to have the best blogging FRIENDS ever. I say "friends" because I think the word "fan" is stupid—I love ya'll as much as you hopefully love me, and I'm positive that if we all lived in the same city we'd hang out. Thank you so much for making me feel loved on a daily basis. I cannot thank you enough!

YOU ARE THE STARS IN MY SKY. XX

I meant it. The thing about Blogger and MySpace is that they've allowed me to put faces to the names of the people who read my blogs/books. SaveKaryn.com was up before these things existed, so while I got a ton of emails, I never knew who was sending them. Now that I can see who's reading/commenting, I've realized that they’re people just like me. They're not just strangers with an email address anymore. They're people with friends, families, pets—lives. They're the kind of people I'd be friends with.

So anyway, I got some responses to the post, all of them nice, and then I got this:

hey, I love your first book and I can't wait to get the second . . . but isn't it sort of rude what you did to your cat? and disingenuous about how you'd hang out with complete strangers if we all lived in the same city? and isn't this web site sort of like a commercial instead of the Pure and Brilliant Save Karyn? I don't know. I LOVED your book Save Karyn, but I'm a FAN who is concerned about your level of intensity with regard to showcasing your cat. And I believe that "the man [woman] is never is as great as the work" and your first book is definitely brilliant but I hate to be a bitch sort of but God this blog site feels like an opportunity for you to sell. I don't know. I read it anyway because I think you are so funny I can't stand it. I am conflicted. Your Fan, Sheila (yet another Sheila)

Sheila Mulligan, I appreciate the nice things you said about SaveKaryn.com, but everything else you said is pretty much sh*t. You're conflicted? Well, I'm not.

I hate you, Shelia Mulligan.

First, I'd like to address my cat. He pretty much does this...

...25 hours a day. So me dressing him up and sticking sunglasses and stamps on his head is keeping him young. I rescued him from a bush when he was eight months old, and I've fed him, pet him, and cleaned up his sh*t for the past eleven years. He's got a pretty easy life and I think he can handle wearing sunglasses for five minutes, even if it is for my own amusement. Sure, he'd probably rather continue to do this...

...but too bad. I'm the mommy. I make the rules.

As for my level of intensity with regards to “showcasing” my cat, you should more concerned about my level of intensity with regards to the hate I have for you.

Now on to me being “disingenuous” about saying that I'd hang out with the people who post on this blog. You're either implying that I have a superiority complex and think I'm better than everyone else, or you're implying that the people who read this blog are complete morons. You posted here and admitted to being a reader—are you a moron?

Please don't answer that.

Sheila, I'm no better than anyone else and I've never pretended to be. Most of the people who read this blog have read Save Karyn and identified with it in some way or another, meaning they identified with me, meaning I'd identify with them if we were to meet. When I read their blogs or look at their MySpace pages, I'm able to get a taste of their sense of humor, see their outlook on life, and can honestly say that they are the type of people that I'd be friends with.

As for this website being a commercial, I have links on it to my books, which I will not apologize for. I worked hard on them and I hope people will buy them. It's how I make a living. Some of the posts I've written have to do with the new book, but that's what's going on in my life right now. This is not SaveKaryn.com. I'm not in debt aymore. This is a random blog about my life.

Now onto "the man [woman] is never is as great as the work." What kind of backhanded compliment is this? You're basically saying that Save Karyn is/was great, but I'm not. Screw you. I'm human. I have flaws. I do things right. I do things wrong. I say something smart. I say something stupid. Everyone does.

I realize that me telling you all this will probably cause me to lose a sale of 20 Times a Lady, but I don't really care. I can live with that. In fact, if you'd like a refund for having purchased Save Karyn, send me your address and I'll send you the $13 back. This should show you how “commercial” this site isn't. I don't use it to gain fans and sell books. I use it to write about stupid, silly, and fun things that I've been up to. It's a smorgasbord of odd diary entries, pictures, and things I do on a weekly basis. If you don't like it, don't read it.

I hate you, Shelia Mulligan, because you bury insults inside compliments, and because you insinuated that a sincere comment I made was bullsh*t. I hate people who look for the ugly in things. I hate people that assume the worst of people. When people questioned the validity of SaveKaryn.com and whether or not it was fake and asked me if I would donate to a cause like mine, I said “absolutely.” I said this because I'd rather trust someone and be taken for a ride than not have faith in them from the start. Don't be jaded. Believe, trust, and hope that people's intentions are good.

Okay, so that's it for the first installment of "And That's Why I Hate You, xxx." Tune in tomorrow for:

"And That's Why I Hate You, Cable Repair Man."