Broken Record

(This Is Not a Swipe at Taylor Swift)

Before we sat down to dinner last night, I drafted a list about topics to avoid.

It’s not that these topics are controversial; it’s that they are ALL I’ve had to talk about in the past week. Literally this is 95% of what’s been swirling in my brain and I have no new ground to cover. Yet nevertheless, I’ve persisted. I feel like I’ve been holding poor Fletch hostage over Caesar salads every night.

Here’s the list:

• tirzepatide shortage

• gallery wall

• Taylor Swift

Fletch didn’t ask me to not talk about this stuff. Rather, it’s that these subjects are like when Hambone senses a crumb of something tasty under a heavy piece of furniture. She’ll target focus and whine and grunt little moues of frustration until we lift the couch and find it for her. And we must lift the couch because she will dig a hole in the rug if we don’t.

Fletch has metaphorically/heroically been lifting the couch again and again to protect the rug during our dinner conversations, so I’m hoping that in writing this down, I can move on.

Drugs, I Need Them

So Zepbound is a miracle drug, as Karyn and I have said over and over. It just works in all the ways it’s supposed to and we’re both feeling our best and donating boxes of stuff that’s too big. It’s great, no notes.

The issue is that Oprah opened her big, chatty mouth about it last month and now there’s none to be found anywhere. Thanks for that. She/Eli Lilly have created an unholy army of people who are now addicted to dropping excess pounds and lowering their blood sugar and eliminating food noise and the feeling of hunger.

When this happened with Wegovy, Novo Nordisk was all, “Shit, we gotta to catch up,” and they stopped allowing starter doses until supply could satisfy demand for existing users. Lilly has gone another route, which is do to fuck-all. Pharmacies everywhere are inundated by packs of upper-middle-class women calling them all day, every day, looking for a hit. And yet it’s kind of pharmacies’ own damn fault, too, as they have no priority system in doling out the limited amounts of the drug that they receive. Just let us put our names on a list, okay? Is that so hard?

It’s like the No-Hunger Games and whomever is the biggest asshole wins.