I've Been Silenced as the Stupidity Police by My Keyboard
The woman selling fish ceviche out of her garage will never know how much I hate her.
Do you have that friend or family member who stops you from getting into stupid arguments?
The person who loves you and does their best to save you from yourself?
The one who doesn’t let you spin out, no matter how badly you want to?
For me right now, that person is my iPad Bluetooth keyboard.
I have two devices—a laptop and an iPad. My iPad is with me constantly, and I use it like everyone else uses their phone; the only difference is the bigger screen. (I mean, I’m not going to make calls on my phone, either.) My iPad is within arm’s reach almost 24/7, whether I’m texting with my girls or streaming Bravo while doing the dishes. Because I have the Bluetooth keyboard, it’s always in my lap at the end of the day when Fletch and I watch television. Or, rather, he watches TV and I check in on social media or play Project Makeover. You know, important stuff.
My laptop is the other side of the coin. I use it solely for business purposes, like writing a client’s manuscript or working on my own professional projects. I don’t even have any of my non-professional logins on my laptop, largely because they are saved on my iPad and I have no idea what they are.
When Fletch has that aneurysm, it will be over my inability to (A) remember my passwords, or (B) remember my password to my password keeper.
I buy cheap Bluetooth keyboards to connect my iPad, largely because they are the only ones that come in rose gold. I normally subscribe to the “buy cheap, buy twice” school of thought, except when it comes to lawn chairs and pretty keyboard cases. (My lawn chair obsession will do Fletch in if the password thing doesn’t.)
Anyway, my cheap Bluetooth keyboard is starting to get squirrely. It will randomly capitalize letters or stop typing entirely. There’s a touchpad, which I hate and keep disabled, but lately it’s been coming to life. I can get out short texts and quick emails without issue, but I’ve been having trouble writing anything longer-form, like a Facebook comment. When I’ll read a post or tweet that merits a reaction, I’ll try to respond and suddenly the letters get all kerflooey.
“Why not use your laptop?” you may ask. I refer you again to my inability to recall passwords.
So now, instead of being able to inflict my opinions on people with questionable judgment or businesses with nefarious intent, my Bluetooth keyboard metaphorically slaps itself out of my angry little hands before I can go off.
This week, I have not been able to serve my duty as the Stupidity Police and respond to the following:
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