Today’s Flashback Friday dovetails nicely with Karyn’s last post because it has to do with advice of the unsolicited variety.
In August of 2004, I was obsessed with the idea of taking over Ask Amy’s column in the Chicago Tribune, despite the fact that I had never earned a dime as a professional writer and my life at the time was a paean to bad choices.
I should also note that Ask Amy has now been doing her column for almost twenty years and she’s syndicated all over the world, so there’s a distinct possibility I was talking out of my ass during this entire endeavor.
Regardless of my lack of qualifications, I spent a month pestering her editor with my take on her advice, basically until I got bored and moved on to something else. I haven’t seen what I wrote since I wrote it, so let’s see how I did.
Dear Amy: Last summer our neighborhood had its first block party, and I joined the planning group. I tried to fit in, but I found the ladies to be loud, somewhat rude, and the meetings seemed like excuses to get plastered.
When I went to the original planning meeting, I really wanted to contribute to make the gathering festive, but most of my ideas were shot down. The block party turned out to be a dud (due to rain), but the grown-ups did manage to set up tents to drink and schmooze until quite late.
I wasn't invited to the planning of this year's block party. So I'm wondering if I should brave it and go this year? We do have some very kind neighbors, and I noticed they didn't go to the block party last year.
-Confused in the Suburbs
Ask Amy replies:
Dear Confused: Can't you take back the night? I think you should contact the neighbors you like to see if you can all attend this event together. If the atmosphere is too rowdy for you, you might repair to your back yard for a barbecue and a game of croquet. (I'm not kidding about croquet, by the way. It is a really fun game.)
-Amy
Croquet? CROQUET? Amy, that’s your 400-syndicated columns worth of advice? Give me a fucking break. [2023 Jen thinks croquet sounds like a hoot, and extricating herself from the neighbors who don’t like her is actually fine advice.]
Lemme give this a shot…
Dear Confused,
So you weren’t invited to this year’s planning meeting? Hey, listen to that… chugga-chugga-choo-choo-choo, it’s the Cluetrain and coming for you!
If everyone else had fun in spite of inclement weather, isn’t it possible that the fault is YOURS? Perhaps you should remove said croquet mallet from your ass and try a little harder to make friends this year.
Best,
Jen
[2023 Jen believes this is still solid advice. And now I know the kind of people who are attracted to HOA leadership. In the words of Philosopher Queen Taylor Swift, Confused in the Suburbs need to tell herself...]
Dear Amy: Please help me with a suitable response to the many people who condescendingly say to me things like, "You're certainly not old enough to know about [insert topic of choice]" or my current favorite, "We actually lived during the '70s."
Though I look younger (I am often thought to be 21 or less), I am 35, married and a professional who has worked hard to develop a successful career. Am I wrong to feel a little offended and as though all that I have achieved is being discounted by these people's presumptions? I was taught that you shouldn't presume to know anything about anyone. What do you think?
--Aging Well in N.C.
To which Amy replies…
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