As you can imagine, back in 2002 when I started a website asking people to help me pay off my credit card debt, I received a barrage of emails — some nice, some mean, and some just downright weird. Rather than replying to these messages in private, I decided to do it publicly and post them on my website. These “MeMails” (as I called them) ended up becoming a viral hit.
So without further ado, I present to you the very first MeMail. I often wonder whatever became of scarlett_turtle and if they ever got what they were looking for.
Date: July 10, 2002
From: scarlett_turtle
Subject: money to help you out
Hi Karyn,
A friend sent me your website and I read your story. It sounds like you're a nice person in a bad situation. It's soooo easy to let credit cards get the best of you. So, I'd like to send you $100 in exchange for sex. That's right SEX. If you have enough balls to ask for money, then I guess I have enough to ask for this. I know that $100 is kind of low, so I don't want to be insulting, but you didn't have a picture on your site so I can't tell if you're cute or not. If you send a picture and you're really cute, I may be willing to go as high as $1,000. Let me know.
From: Karyn
To: scarlett_turtle
First of all I'm cute, let's get that out of the way. I've also been referred to as HOT on countless occasions.
You see, I’m hard up for cash so I started a website called "Save Karyn" where I ask people who can feel my pain to give me a buck — because bucks are what I need. In return they get nothing.
But you seem to be hard up for sex, because you just offered to pay me for some. You didn't even ask if I'd do it for free. I told people straight out that they weren't going to get anything in return for giving me a dollar. The most exciting thing they can do is watch my debt shrink, read some "Daily Bucks" or perhaps this e-mail from you.
So my advice to you is this: start a website. It's helped me, maybe it can help you too. Call it "Save the Scarlett Turtle" and just straight out ask people for sex. I've gotten some bucks — you just might get yourself a nice piece of ass.
Anyway, gotta run and pay a bill. Take care and good luck. Tell all your friends about my website! Maybe we can put links from mine to yours and vice-versa.
XOXO, Karyn
What's heartening here is that not long after he sent you this, broadband internet became a thing. While not sex (with another person), suddenly, he could get all the free porn he wanted. Just swimmin' in (virtual) clam. Also, what did I watch this week where they used the expression "swimmin' in clam"? It made me laugh so hard, I wrote it down, but I don't recall whom to credit.
Oh, this email brings me back. I read Save Karyn as a freshman in college in the mini library in the six pack basement (fellow Illini will get this reference)twice before scraping together money to buy my own copy. I just loved (and still love) your humor.