When someone close to you is getting married, the most important thing is to not make the day all about you.
In my case, it may already be too late.
But hear me out—my friends Gina and Lee have been together now, what? Thirteen or so years? And engaged for two and a half? They are the most fun people I know and I have been looking forward to their wedding for almost the entirety of their relationship. Their day is on track to being the best wedding/reception I will ever attend and that should be celebrated, especially as I’d already been celebrating it six years ago, before the dream was so rudely ripped away from me.
I thought this wedding was coming around 2017, when Gina asked if Fletch and I wanted to join them over the holidays in Costa Rica. Somehow, over the course of this conversation (where I was drunk in a pool), I misinterpreted the invitation and I thought she was inviting Fletch and me to be there while they eloped. Also, in my state, I thought I was being sworn to secrecy. For six months, I told NO ONE about their pending nuptials. Do you know how hard that was for me? When people say to me, “Can you keep a secret?” my answer is always, “Absolutely not.” Then they laugh and I have to clarify that I am not kidding.
If there’s no NDA, I am not to be trusted.
Except in this case, I was. For six months, I kept my fat mouth shut. Six months. I WAS DYING. It wasn’t until we were at her place for Thanksgiving when I finally asked her what her dad thought of their upcoming trip. I recall the odd look on her face when she said, “Why would my father have an opinion on a vacation in Costa Rica?”
For six months, not only did I try to move heaven and earth to be there, but also, I kept it under my hat and it nearly killed me. Turns out, on that brisk Thanksgiving day, I learned there was no pending wedding, and it was just me, my wishful thinking, and a tumbler full of iced Sauvignon Blanc all along.
Suffice it to say—I’m more excited about their wedding than my own. This doesn’t offend Fletch, as he feels the same way. Our entire friend group is attending and it will be the first time we’ve all been in the same place since COVID. We formed our Zoom Game Night Pandemic posse in April of 2020 and have kept it going ever since then, every Friday night, where the great irony is that the most Lutheran among us has the dirtiest answers to everything. A couple of members of our girl group have never even met in person, and that in itself would thrill me beyond words. So that’s it’s going to be tacked onto the wedding of my dreams already has me spinning out (in the best way).
Gina is the most circumspect of our girl group, largely because she is also the smartest. This isn’t speculation; it’s fact. There are almost no game nights she doesn’t win whatever we’re playing, plus she’s an actual MENSA member. Once she was saying something about MENSA and she said, “Oh, you know what the meetings are like.” Excuse me, I DO NOT know what the meetings are like, as I am not a member. Also, I just microwaved a spoon. Pretty sure my invite wasn’t lost in the mail.
Anyway, because Gina is smart, she’s been judicious about not sharing every little detail about what the day will be like. What she’s revealed is more of a need-to-know basis, like where to park. For example, she’s keeping the design of her dress under wraps. One could say it’s for the element of surprise, but I’m guessing it’s because she’s not looking for opinions. She made the mistake of telling us she needed a strapless bra, and this became a half-hour topic of discussion on our last call, and she ordered something largely to shut us up. As for unwanted opinions, I’m the person who if you tell me your unborn baby’s name, I will likely inform you I had a cat named that, or it’s the name of the sluttiest girl in my high school. So Gina, in her infinite wisdom, hasn’t given us too much red meat i/r/t the wedding.
What I’m saying is, I’ve had all this pent-up excitement and no place to aim it.
Until now.
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