Take the Gun, Leave the Cannoli

My Time Has Come!

Whatever the newest trend is, there’s a good chance I don’t like it and I want no part of it.

Hoarding Stanley cups? Nope.

Duck nails? Absolutely not.

Tinned fish? I’m only going to try it because the people (meaning you guys) have demanded it.

I’ve always wondered, where are the trends I like? Where are the ones made for me? What’s finally going to play to my strengths?

How come no one’s ever created a billion TikToks about sitting in the sun by a body of water, quietly reading with a cocktail at their side, minding their own damn business?

My happy place.

When is driving five miles under the speed limit on the far right hand side of the expressway going to be all the rage? #slowride #takeiteasy

At what point will everyone lose their shit about setting up their fall gourd-based decor?

Why isn’t everyone making nautical puns?

WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE MY TIME?

Thus far, the only trend I love or excel at is thrifting and now every-freaking-body has discovered thrift shops and all of their stupid haul videos just mean less for me. Not a fan. Stay out of my honey hole, Zoomers.

Thanks for nothing, Macklemore.

However… as it turns out, my time has come and you’re all going to get a great, big taste of it next week when we team up with Deanna and Emily of How to Be Less Old to embrace our MOB WIFE AESTHETIC.

Finally!

I’ve been training for this my whole life!

Get out my way.

See, I grew up in the 1970s on the East Coast, surrounded by an extended Sicilian family. The first Italian renaissance happened in the 15th/16th centuries, but thanks to pop culture and movies like Saturday Night Fever and The Godfather, the second renaissance occurred in the mid-70s. That’s when Italian Americans finally got the respect they’d been demanding ever since they got to this country.