Today’s throwback post is a DOOZY. I posted it in 2006 and only kept it up on my blog for a couple of days before taking it down because it was starting to blow up and I didn't want to ruin lives. (Back in the day you could do this!)
A couple of things should be addressed. Back in 2006, it wasn't common to Google people you met, and even if you did, not much came up. Facebook existed, but it wasn’t open to the public. And there was no Twitter, LinkedIn, etc. The only social media site that people actually used was MySpace, but not everyone was on it and the search tool left a lot to be desired. Yes, kids, it was the stone age. We used to meet people IRL at bars and coffee shops, and we just had to trust that they were telling us the truth about who they were and not a mass murderer. Googling someone was considered stalker-ish, not a safety measure.
Hours and hours of MySpace searching is how I figured out this guy’s story. He ended up seeing it after I posted it, apologized to me, and then asked if I was going to tell his soon-to-be wife. I said no. (He then said that was really cool of me because I could’ve demanded money from him to stay silent. I said, “Like an extortionist?” [Men are so stupid.]) To make it worse, he’s a writer and I ended up seeing him at all sorts of Writers Guild events for years to come.
To my knowledge, he’s still married and has like three or four kids now, and he went on to create a successful primetime television show on a major network. (When I told Jen what it was, she said, HOLY FUCK, THAT’S A GREAT SHOW.) He also randomly butt-dialed me a couple of years ago and blamed it on Siri. Like, you got away with it, take me out of your phone already! (Again, men are so stupid.)
With that, I present to you “The Wedding Gift.”
The Wedding Gift - October 2, 2006
I usually don't talk about my sex life or dating on this blog because I never know who’s reading, but today I'm making an exception. My friends convinced me to post this because they said it’s too good a story not to share and it would open up a really good discussion. So, here goes.
First, a little background. I've been having a slight problem getting over an ex. We had a very intense relationship and he's just one of those guys I can't shake. I've dated other men since we broke up, but no matter how hard I try, I always go back to him when a relationship ends.
After giving it some thought, I decided that I needed to do something drastic to help me forget about him, and decided that “something” was to sleep with someone else. After looking around for a worthy candidate, I met someone who was perfect for the job. He's tall, smart, cute, funny, and he lives in my neighborhood. He's also eight years younger than me, which made me feel slightly like Mrs. Robinson, but I got over that quickly when I saw the size of his—
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